catch-up london style, #5

i hopped across the pond just over a week ago, and finally have the interwebs at home again. meet the catch-up post, dated for your (my) convenience.

le 6 octobre 2012 (evening)

i’m sick now, battling the flu and other infections. my immune system has finally shut down now that i’m basically settled in, so i’m lying in bed with a hot water bottle, an extra sweater, and a mug of herbal tea at my side. this also marks six days in a row that the baby in the adjoining house is screaming its wee head off. seriously, i’m torn between confronting the parents (not fair, i realize, as the baby may have colic) and just never having children of my own. maybe i’ll just adopt a toddler rather than a newborn. i have the wailin’ jennys on in an attempt to drown it out, but it’s unfortunately not working very well. sigh.

so my day began with a bus ride to highgate to meet up with my friend (find her blog here), which it turns out is right across from jackson's lane, where i saw a physical theatre children’s show four years ago. it’s also home to ripping yarns, a used bookshop that specializes in children’s books, and several cute independent shops. meet my new pillow, which was from souvenir, an independent shop for local handmade gifts.

i haven’t named it yet, but it’s quite cosy, and makes my room feel more like a home oddly.

we checked out a photography exhibit on london gay icons at jackson’s lane after a stop into the bank and a brief lunch at a bakery on the high street (i had ginger beer and split a chocolate pear tart with my friend…the last thing that i ate today). then we walked on until we were out of highgate, and caught a bus to brick lane and shoreditch. i was very quickly losing steam, so we stopped in at the high tea market for coffee and tea (the drink, not the meal). by the time we finished there, it was getting quite late, so we headed back to find buses in our respective directions. i was guaranteed at least an hour and a half travel regardless, so i ended up going all the way to finsbury park to catch a bus home. only two buses, which was my concern, but they took ages regardless. finsbury park is not the most fun place to be once it gets dark, especially when you’re presenting female, alone, and not feeling well. normally i’m fine to act confident in dodgy areas, but that goes out the window once i’m sick. eventually i got sorted and found the bus stop home.

i got back to our high street just as boots (the pharmacy – kind of on par with shoppers) closed. luckily there was another chemist across the street, although i suspect it’s more expensive. didn’t matter, as i didn’t have any other choice at that point. i got what i needed, came home, put on the kettle, and called home to cry a bit and ask about what drugs to take for a potential flu. i’m staying in tonight, and sleeping as soon as my flatmate comes home and i can grab some tylenol from her, and will spend tomorrow indoors as well. good excuse to get some reading done, and perhaps an epsom salt bath. 

catch-up london style, #3

i hopped across the pond just over a week ago, and finally have the interwebs at home again. meet the catch-up post, dated for your (my) convenience.

le 4 octobre 2012

today is hangover day, which is really rather unfortunate. i feel like rubbish, although it’s not even 10am yet, so hopefully i shake it off in a bit. that’s what you get when you never drink and then decide half a bottle of wine and vodka lemonade are a good idea. last night was the lgbt night for the school and they rented out the basement of the village, one of soho’s clubs. it was quite evident whenever we came up for air that the club is more for older gay men, but it was pleasant enough last night. we had an interesting time being the only postgrads at the event – it’s funny how the difference of only two years can be so significant when you’re dealing with people doing their master’s and people who are just starting their first degree.

fun fact – “on the pull” is the british term for “pick up,” so if someone asks, “are you on the pull tonight?” they’re actually asking, “are you looking to pick anyone up tonight?”

i met one of the queens from season four of rupaul’s drag race, which was pretty neat, and funny when she gave me the dirty eye for being canadian. i was up with my friends while they smoked when she walked by, and a couple of gay men i was chatting with recognized her and called her over. she was headed to madame jojo’s to perform at tranny shack, which is an event (hopefully a weekly one).

another fun fact – in the uk, everyone uses the term “tranny.” back home, it’s incredibly offensive. i’m going to have to be careful which words end up slipping into my vocabulary, although given that i automatically cringe whenever i hear someone say “tranny,” i should be okay…

i plan on checking out jojo’s some more. it was all kings and queens in the line (a lot of the kings had terrible facial hair…some of our kings back home could teach them a few tricks). i’m not sure if we have to drag up (re: dress in drag) to get in or not, but we’ll see. and apparently i’m going to love brighton when i go with my flatmate and her friend – it’s much more queer and much less gay (depending on who you’re with, of course).

plans for today are quite loose, but i think i may go to campus to get some more work done, check out the swiss cottage library, and maybe drop into loop london, the major yarn shop (and sister-shop to our loop in halifax). then tonight is the camden pub crawl, which we’re all going to. i’m not drinking tonight…

summer nights & their adventures

things that happened last night...
...cuddling on a blanket watching outdoor theatre involving singing, drag, and a certain white rabbit.
...drinking along a park path.
...watching the stars, meteors, and galaxy from the beach.
...bakasana on the rocks.
...kissing on the rocks.
...midnight garden barbeques.
...a funny cab driver.
...slugs.
...a lot of moaning.
...singing songs and reciting poetry.
...deep conversations.

being unemployed during the summer is lovely, i'm forced to admit.

a sombre moment

i have been absent from this blog for a while. i've been busy knitting gifts, performing, and finishing off my degree, but now that all that has calmed down, i have time again to focus on other things. like what books i want to read, how the trees are budding, and cooking at home again.

and on less positive things.

a couple of nights ago, a brutal act of violence in my neighbourhood took the life of a prominent gay activist. the attacker was caught and it is now up to the judicial system to determine what happens to them. in the meantime, though, my heart is being torn apart and stitched back up multiple times each day. there are so many politics surrounding this case - was it a hate crime or not? does the attacker's mental history mean they are to be blamed or excused? should people be more on their guard or do we chalk this up to a tragic isolated incident? - and yet, despite all the thoughts and emotions swirling around my body and mind, i cannot fully articulate what i need to say about this tragedy.

just because the courts determine an attack to not officially be a hate crime, does not mean that the victims, and their communities, will come to the same conclusion.

demonizing one person's actions because of their mental health stigmatizes those with a mental illness of their own living as successfully as anyone else in society. it also ignores the fact that our health care system is woefully inept when it comes to dealing with mental health, and current cuts are making that situation even more dire.

if you are straight and cis and an ally, thank you. but please don't determine for us whether a hate crime was perpetrated or not. a member of our queer community was brutally beaten while "faggot" was yelled in his face, then left to die. whether the attack stemmed from homophobia or it was just one of many factors, homophobia still played a part in the crime. homophobia = hate. it was a hate crime, just perhaps not in the judicial sense.

there are so many factors that are at play here. we cannot ignore the fact that we live in a society that has for so long institutionalized and historicized fear and hatred of different communities, that we can no longer untangle the individual root strands of violence and discrimination.

i acknowledge that we have come a long way.

we have also barely moved. i have watched as partners decide which side of the cis binary will be safer to pass as when we encounter potentially dangerous situations. i have changed pronouns in discussions to avoid hostility. i have changed subjects during cab rides to ensure i get home at the end of the night. i have played straight and cis so many times that it is second nature, but never natural. i am one of the lucky ones who has never been physically attacked yet for being queer. i should not have to consider myself lucky.

the outpouring of love and support i have seen from literally across the globe in response to this attack is heartening. i believe we, as a society, can do better. we are clearly capable of it. we just need to do better faster, before we lose more friends to senseless hatred.

don't lose hope, friends. if we lose hope, we lose everything. and there are so many brilliant things in this world. it would be a shame to miss them because we only focused on the grey.