i have been absent from this blog for a while. i've been busy knitting gifts, performing, and finishing off my degree, but now that all that has calmed down, i have time again to focus on other things. like what books i want to read, how the trees are budding, and cooking at home again.
and on less positive things.
a couple of nights ago, a brutal act of violence in my neighbourhood took the life of a prominent gay activist. the attacker was caught and it is now up to the judicial system to determine what happens to them. in the meantime, though, my heart is being torn apart and stitched back up multiple times each day. there are so many politics surrounding this case - was it a hate crime or not? does the attacker's mental history mean they are to be blamed or excused? should people be more on their guard or do we chalk this up to a tragic isolated incident? - and yet, despite all the thoughts and emotions swirling around my body and mind, i cannot fully articulate what i need to say about this tragedy.
just because the courts determine an attack to not officially be a hate crime, does not mean that the victims, and their communities, will come to the same conclusion.
demonizing one person's actions because of their mental health stigmatizes those with a mental illness of their own living as successfully as anyone else in society. it also ignores the fact that our health care system is woefully inept when it comes to dealing with mental health, and current cuts are making that situation even more dire.
if you are straight and cis and an ally, thank you. but please don't determine for us whether a hate crime was perpetrated or not. a member of our queer community was brutally beaten while "faggot" was yelled in his face, then left to die. whether the attack stemmed from homophobia or it was just one of many factors, homophobia still played a part in the crime. homophobia = hate. it was a hate crime, just perhaps not in the judicial sense.
there are so many factors that are at play here. we cannot ignore the fact that we live in a society that has for so long institutionalized and historicized fear and hatred of different communities, that we can no longer untangle the individual root strands of violence and discrimination.
i acknowledge that we have come a long way.
we have also barely moved. i have watched as partners decide which side of the cis binary will be safer to pass as when we encounter potentially dangerous situations. i have changed pronouns in discussions to avoid hostility. i have changed subjects during cab rides to ensure i get home at the end of the night. i have played straight and cis so many times that it is second nature, but never natural. i am one of the lucky ones who has never been physically attacked yet for being queer. i should not have to consider myself lucky.
the outpouring of love and support i have seen from literally across the globe in response to this attack is heartening. i believe we, as a society, can do better. we are clearly capable of it. we just need to do better faster, before we lose more friends to senseless hatred.
don't lose hope, friends. if we lose hope, we lose everything. and there are so many brilliant things in this world. it would be a shame to miss them because we only focused on the grey.
